I have breastfed two children until we mutually decided to end the relationship, and I pumped through a full calendar year with both of my kids being fed only breastmilk (and then table food, when developmentally appropriate).

I was lucky to be able to nurse my kids directly when I was with them–but I have several friends who were exclusive pumpers for various reasons. I have also guided friends and colleagues through the process, and it’s become a passion of mine–making pumping feel doable in a profession where it seems impossible.

A few caveats up front:

• For the sake of widest recognition, I will use the term “nursing” or “breastfeeding” throughout this article where applicable. I want to explicitly state that I know that there are some who are uncomfortable with many terms that are traditionally associated with breastfeeding and may prefer chestfeeding or bodyfeeding. My choice of vocabulary is not for any other reason than that’s what the majority of people will recognize.
• I am also not going to address things like safe storage and increasing production, as there are plenty of better-educated sources for that information.
• I am NOT pushing breastfeeding as the best or only choice in this article. I believe fed is best, and formula is a modern miracle that should be used whenever needed or wanted. But for those for whom nursing is a desire/priority, I want to empower you to know that while it can be tricky, it is doable.
• I am NOT a medical professional, and none of this should be taken as medical advice. Always defer to what your medical care team advises.

I will organize this into two primary sections: the first, dealing with your mindset going into pumping while working in a school; the second being “hacks,” tips, and tricks I’ve learned in my journey, as well as those generously shared by colleagues and friends in person and in online teaching and breastfeeding communities I asked.

Healthy mindsets around pumping at school as a teacher

If you’re like many who work in schools, you got into this profession because you care deeply about people and your work, and have some tendencies towards selflessness and perhaps even martyrdom (guilty here).

The first, and the most important, thing you need to do is evaluate and adjust your expectations of yourself and the process.

Give yourself grace and space to think about what you actually want, versus what you may be feeling pressured to do (or not do!). Some of your friends or colleagues may have HATED pumping; some may have loved it. Some may have had great support, or none at all. You have to take your own context into consideration and be really honest with yourself.

Pumping and nursing are important and time-consuming jobs, and our society has so much guilt and pressure built into the decision to nurse or not, as well as whether to maintain that by feeding your baby pumped milk. Here are some considerations to take into account:

• Figure out what you will need (space, time, coverage) and communicate that with your administration as soon as possible. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself, and don’t back down at the first sign of pushback. Once you know your approximate return to work date, work with your administration to figure out a coverage plan if needed (or present one to them that you work out with teammates and/or friends at work–they will likely appreciate the effort and not being asked to do something else, and allow you the flexibility to figure it out).
• Ask for help. Tell your teammates or collaborating staff members your plans and needs, and anticipate that there will be some people who won’t like your plans and needs. That is not your responsibility. This is one time when working in a female-dominated profession works in your favor — many school workers are caregivers to children outside of work, and either have experience trying to breastfeed or understand the huge commitment it is to pump while working. Ask for help. If you don’t have a dedicated space, ask someone who does if you can use it during down times. Advocate for a space that isn’t a bathroom — you deserve to pump in a comfortable, safe, and hygienic space. If you need a little extra time to pump at lunch or during recess, ask a teammate to take or pick up your class to give you those extra couple of minutes. Ask for people to accommodate your needs in creative ways (see suggestions below in the “Hacks, Tips, and Tricks” section if you need ideas). This is a lot of work, and it is valuable work, but it is almost impossible to do without a good support system.
• Set and maintain your boundaries. If you have said that you will need to pump at x time, and someone asks you to break that “just this once”–stand firm. If your coworkers or administration pressure you to stop pumping before you’re ready, or complain that you’re getting “extra” time, or whatever–remind them that this is a medical need and you have both legal and human rights to feed your baby in the way that is best for you and them.
• On that note — know your rights. Breastfeeding and work pumping laws vary from state to state; be sure to research yours and communicate that you know those rights. Involve your HR or union as needed if you encounter resistance.
• Find others who are pumping or have pumped. Having a community that is or has been “there” is invaluable in the mental load of balancing a demanding career and a demanding period of your life as a parent. Just having someone to text when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed or excited about your pumping needs and process is a huge addition to your support crew.
• Think about if you want to use this time to work, or NOT — either is fine! For me, I tended to use the time to catch up on emails, write lesson plans, and do other tasks I could do on my computer, so I wasn’t making more work for myself during non-contract hours. For some people, however, they need pump time to be “down” time, where they can relax to allow a good letdown. There’s no right or wrong answer. You may want to focus more on the pumping part until you are comfortable with it, then move to a more productive time–or not!
• If you are having someone cover your class or post, be sure to give yourself enough time to get to your pumping space (if it’s not in your own space), get set up, have a solid pumping session, and clean up. Stress decreases milk production, which is the opposite of the goal. Ask your coverage to give you a 5-minute buffer on either side of your planned pumping session to account for these transitions so you’re not feeling rushed.
• It can be helpful to reframe this as a medical need, both for your baby and for you. Of course, if this is your family’s plan for feeding your baby, then your pumping time is not optional–it is how you are getting your child’s sustenance. You can also get a clog or mastitis if you are unable to pump on a regular schedule and fully express your milk; these can cause illness and extreme discomfort. Keeping pumping framed as a medical necessity can help you feel more comfortable advocating for yourself and being clear and direct with your needs.
• Finally: give yourself grace. Not everyone responds well to a pump, and there’s no way to know until you try. If pumping is causing you excessive levels of stress, or your milk production drops, or you just don’t want to anymore, give yourself the space to change your mind. It is not a failure of any kind. Again, formula is a medical marvel, and if you need to use it, either to supplement breastmilk or as the primary or only source of your child’s feeding: that. is. great. You are an excellent parent no matter how you end up feeding your child. Fed is best. You are a person, too, and your health and happiness are also important to your child’s life.

Hacks, tips, and tricks for teachers pumping at school

Here’s the nitty-gritty of what to actually DO and PREPARE for pumping while working in schools. You’ve got your pumping schedule worked out, any coverage needs taken care of, and your pump, but how do you actually make this work?

Here are some hacks, tips, and tricks that either I or a colleague or friend that I have talked to in person or on social media teacher and/or breastfeeding groups can share:

• Consider using a company like Aeroflow or Acceleron to help you know which pump(s) are covered by your insurance; these companies can also help you know if your insurance covers replacement consumable parts (like duckbills or membranes) that wear out over time. Using flexible spending accounts is another way to help pay for spare parts.
• Don’t feel like you have to start pumping right away (if your baby is latching and feeding at the breast without issues — again, I’m not a medical professional!). However, a week or two before you plan to return to work, get acquainted with the pump, practice putting it together and taking it apart, and so on. One ‘hack’ I learned that served me very well was to pump on one side while the baby nursed on the other–this helped my body associate the feeling of a letdown with the sensation of the pump, so when I was pumping without the baby later, that connection was established. This is also a great way to start building up your “stash.”
• Get a second set of all removable parts — flanges, tubing, bottles, chargers/power cords, adapters, rubber/silicone membranes or duckbills, bottles, and so on. There is literally NOTHING worse than getting all hooked up and realizing you don’t have a tube to connect to the pump. I left my second set of parts at school, and just washed and sanitized them after school, leaving them to dry overnight. It’s one less thing to have to remember to bring with you.
• Get a cooler that fits the pump system bottles/containers that you are using, and the specially-designed reusable ice packs. Of course, you can use things you already have, but these help ensure that your precious expressed milk will be less likely to tip over, fall out, or leak, and will keep it cold until you can get it home.
• Set yourself up for success with a system for remembering to bring bottles to and from work, cleaning and sterilizing parts, etc.: Post-its in strategic places, setting everything out the night before, phone alarms, whatever works for you.
• Store your pump parts in the fridge in a large Ziploc bag or plastic food storage container between pumping sessions. This will save you a LOT of setup and break down time during any midday sessions.
• If you don’t have access to a personal fridge, see if someone in the building does and who can share. Even a small dorm-sized fridge can usually hold a larger food storage container with parts and a few pumped bottles of milk.
• Measure your nipple size and get appropriately-sized flanges for your pump. This can GREATLY increase your output, and many people are not best fit by the default flanges that come with the pump. Look online for guides on how to measure and what your nipple should and shouldn’t look like in the flanges.
• Try using nipple cream on either your nipple or the flange for a better seal. The better the seal, the more effective the pump is.
• Consider wearing a nursing cover while you are pumping if you are concerned about being walked in on, or if you plan to pump during meetings. This can also help you not stress about the amount you are pumping, as stress decreases your letdowns and output (just be sure to check in on the bottle’s fill after a few minutes if you’re a high producer or have a fast letdown–that’s not a fun surprise!)
• Get creative with your options for when to pump. Think about if there are ways for you to attend meetings virtually if they coincide with your regular pumping times.
• Bring one of your baby’s worn pajamas or onesies to smell and look at pictures and videos of them. This can help trigger a letdown.
• If you don’t have a space of your own, see if you can hang thick curtains or set up a private-ish space, and then use a nursing cover. One suggestion was to put your “mom working — do not enter” type sign over the keyhole of your pumping space, so that people with key access don’t ignore other posted signs. There are also many people who love wearable cups/pumps — look into it if you’re interested!
• If you have to go on field trips, look into a manual pump that pairs with your electric pump–these often share parts, so you can use some of your spare parts for this. Plan to ask for chaperones or other staff to help cover you to go pump, even if it’s only to relieve discomfort. Learn how to express milk manually for if you’re ever in a pinch.
• Dress to facilitate pumping. I wore a nursing bra every day with a spaghetti-strap tank over it, then a shirt over that. Then, I could pull up my shirt and pull down the top of the tank without feeling like I had to get completely undressed to pump. Additionally, look for a string-style nursing bra — this can clip on over your clothes and holds flanges in place so you can still pump more hands-free without having to change into a full pumping bra.
• Try not to stress about supply fluctuations — your body will go through lots of stages. Look into “hands on pumping” and supplements for when your ovulation and menstrual cycles start up again to help combat some of these fluctuations.
• Look up “power pumping” and/or pump an extra session on the weekends if you need to have enough supply for the coming days.
• Find microwave steam-sterilization bags. This made cleaning parts so much easier — I would wash my parts at the end of the day (having put them in the fridge between sessions using a large plastic food storage container), then use the steam sterilizer bag to sterilize and let the parts dry overnight. I took parts home on weekends to do a deeper sterilization at home, too.
• Take care of yourself! Eat regular meals and snacks and keep yourself hydrated. Have a stash of easy-to-grab snacks and water and explain to students, as needed, why you’re snacking.

There’s a lot to take in here, but the main point is this: if you want to pump and work in schools, it IS possible. It takes a little creativity, a lot of persistence and determination, teamwork and support systems, and some trial and error … but you can do this.

And no matter how you feed your baby — you are doing such a great job, and this period won’t last forever.

Congratulations, and happy pumping!

The post A teacher’s guide to pumping at work appeared first on Truth For Teachers.

A coworker’s kid’s name.

Maybe you’re excited by this news — you love their kid! You love them! This is going to be great!

Or maybe your stomach drops instantly. You know that you haven’t had the best relationship with them, and now you’re going to be responsible for their most precious gift — their child.

Maybe the situation’s ever more most unsettling — it’s your principal’s kid. Or the instructional coach’s. Or anyone in a position of relative power over you. What now?!

I’m a teacher’s kid. I grew up putting up bulletin boards and rolling my mom’s chair in races down the hall during pre- and post-planning. I even had my mom for two classes in high school (she was the only one certified to teach the courses I needed to take — and yes, she was harder on me than anyone else!).

I’ve been teaching for 10 years, and I’m now a parent of a kid at the school where I work, AND I’m a teacher’s kid. So when I say I’ve experienced this from all sides, I mean it.

If you haven’t yet had the experience of teaching the child of a fellow staff member, give it time. Statistically speaking, at least half of the teacher workforce are also parents, and when you consider other caregivers — extended family, foster families, etc. — the numbers go up. Education is a caregiving field, so it stands to reason that many educators are caregivers outside of school, too.

While I don’t think I’ve mastered this awkward situation fully, I have had a lot of practice — for all but two of my ten years of teaching, I’ve had staff and/or Board members’ kids in my class. And, as previously stated, I grew up as a teacher’s kid. I reached out to as many of my coworkers as I could to get feedback on this situation, and several themes arose. Of course, all of these pieces of wisdom are from my own experience, but I think there are lots of applicable lessons that you can apply to your context, too.

Assess your current relationship with the other adult

First, you need to honestly assess the current relationship you have with the other adult, and the student in question. Are you just familiar with one another’s faces in the hallway? Are you work besties? Are you somewhere in between? Think about how this relationship currently plays out.

Do you text the other person funny memes? Do you just occasionally pass one another in the halls and give a polite nod or greeting? Are you friends on social media? Do you socialize outside of school? Do your own kids or family have relationships with their kids?

This clear assessment of where your relationship currently stands doesn’t have to be formal, but it will help inform your mindset towards this relationship for as long as it exists.

This step is especially important if you’re close with the other adult. I have taught a couple of my closest friends’ kids, and having a clear understanding of what the relationship was before teaching their kids helped me keep things in perspective, as well as helped me recognize when that relationship dynamic was shifting throughout the school year.

Discuss boundaries

The next, and most important, consideration is boundaries. This is probably also the most difficult hurdle, and the thing that will require the most attention, care, and renegotiation.

Whether you’re the caregiver or the teacher, you need to examine yourself. What are your boundaries? What are you comfortable or uncomfortable with?

Some caregivers do not want to be contacted about their kid during the day, no matter what. Some want constant updates. Some want all school correspondence to go through a partner or a different adult, to maintain work-home boundaries. You need to know where you’re comfortable, and then you need to initiate a conversation with the other adult to discuss and find a middle ground.

When in doubt, follow the caregiver’s lead. In my experience, it’s never worth damaging the relationship over doing things “my way” as the teacher — and ultimately, the caregiver is the one who has the right to make decisions about their child. Acknowledge that this relationship may require deviations from your normal family-teacher practices, and that’s okay.

Acknowledge the awkwardness

As you’re talking together, I’ve found it’s helpful to name that this is awkward. Whether you’re the best of friends or didn’t know one another before this moment, acknowledging that this relationship is different from most other experiences you’ve had goes a long way. Name the awkwardness, and be transparent with where your difficulties with the relationship may lie.

Again, this is where knowing yourself is INCREDIBLY important.

If you know that you are terrible at taking pictures and sharing them (guilty here!), name it.

If you struggle with maintaining your own work/life balance (guilty again), share that.

Ask for grace and extend it early, and recognize that there are likely to be “sandpaper” moments throughout this experience. Be realistic in your expectations and goals for yourself and the relationship.

Be prepared to have the difficult conversations again

Expect to revisit this conversation often. Both this past school year and the year before, I taught the kids of some of my closest friends. And there were several moments when we had to have difficult conversations because their kid had opportunities for growth in academics or behavior, or because I crossed boundaries unintentionally and had to apologize and course-correct.

I’ve learned to be proactive. When I feel in my gut that the relationship is off-balance, I’ve learned to name that with the other person, and take time to repair any harm caused. Be especially aware of power dynamics — teachers do have a position of power in students’ lives, but your student’s caregiver may have a position of power over you (or you over them), whether by their role at the school, their gender, race, or other societal privileges, or just personality dynamics. Take careful stock of the complexities of the relationship, and be ready to re-evaluate with one another frequently.

Here are some topics you may want to discuss in advance, and that you may also need to revisit from time to time:

• General communication preferences (think about your classroom structures — do you use an app or program to manage communication? Do you have time boundaries when you do/don’t want to receive communications?)
• Arrival/dismissal logistics (what about if changes occur?)
• Is it okay to share positive moments in passing, or via less formal communication (like text)?
• How do you prefer to communicate less-than-positive information? Does a partner, co-parent, or other caregiver need to be the point person? Does the information need to be shared in email first, so you have written documentation (which your district may require or encourage)? Does a formal conference need to be set up, or are both parties comfortable with a more casual approach?
• What should the child do when they see the caregiver during contract hours? Particularly with young kids, be sure to have conversations about leaving the line/class to give hugs, ask questions, get snack/water/etc.

I outlined sharing positive moments in passing, and sharing other issues (behavioral, grades, etc.) in a more formal way. This is one of the biggest pieces of feedback I got from all of my coworkers whose kids I have taught.

Most of the time, it’s a really nice moment to hear something funny or insightful your kid did during the day. It doesn’t disrupt the workflow of your own day as an educator to hear something positive. But it absolutely stinks, and can really throw off the rest of your day, to have someone give negative (or even growth-related) feedback in passing.

Of course, students are going to do this — but it’s okay to set boundaries with them, too! For example, lots of kids LOVE to tell caregivers that their kids got in trouble — and it is absolutely okay to tell students to respect that the adult is working, and that the adults will deal with any behavior issues — just like you do when students tattle on one another in class.

One of the most painful lessons I learned was in using a caregiver’s presence in the building as a classroom management “tool.” I had this done to me as a kid, and I hated it — and then I turned around and perpetuated it myself.

Don’t do it. Unless you would call and interrupt a caregiver at their workplace elsewhere, don’t do it just because they’re on your campus. Caregivers are not threats, and leveraging that relationship is very rarely going to have the intended effect.

This past year, as I taught second grade, there were moments when the student asked me to contact their parent during the day, and I was very glad I had had conversations with the parent beforehand to help me determine when to agree to this, and when to deflect to another strategy.

One of my students has anxiety, so knowing that I had texted his mom allowed his brain to calm down and begin processing learning again. And telling his mom clearly in the text that her child had asked me to share something, and that nothing needed to be done on her end, helped her know that she could glance at the text, know that her kid was being cared for, and move on with her day.

These points of contact were jumping-off points for continued conversation about our boundaries as teachers, caregivers, and colleagues — and the lines moved over time, as we discovered by trial and error what worked and didn’t for us.

Always consider the child in question

With my kid, we had a lot of explicit conversations before school began about what it would be like to be at the same school. We practiced seeing one another in the hallway and waving, and talked about what he should do if he’s having a problem during the day. I showed him where I had extra water bottles and snacks in my classroom, so that if I had forgotten to pack something at home, he could come in quietly and get what he needed without interrupting my teaching.

When I was in my mom’s class in high school, we had conversations about whether I should call her “Mom,” or try using her “teacher name” (we landed on “Mom”— it was just too weird otherwise). My friends had spent the night at my house for years, so knew my mom as my mom first, but for the years that I had her, we agreed to try to limit some of the hosting of events at our house to give my mom some separation from her students and my friends some space from their teacher.

The kids are part of this relationship, too — and as a teacher, it’s important to respect that child’s privacy. Think about when you were a kid. If someone had reported to your caregivers every single interaction you had with peers — every comment made to or by you, every friend spat, every movement out of bounds — you would feel stifled.

So much of childhood is about stretching one’s wings, of learning who you are as a person, and it’s hard to do that without the freedom to make some mistakes and missteps, to learn who you are separate from your family and trusted adults. I tend to take a counselor’s approach — unless someone is in danger of being harmed or harming someone else, I tend not to share.

Just as I try to remember to share a positive moment or interaction with all caregivers, I do try to make a point of sharing small positive moments with colleagues. A picture of a sweet moment with a friend, or a fun learning experience, or a quick story of something the student has worked hard on — getting these sorts of tender updates helps build a rapport between two adults who share a love and sense of responsibility for a child. But I generally ask the child first if it’s okay to share with their grownups, and respect their answer.

Overall, teaching a colleague’s kid, or having a colleague teach your kid, can be a great experience. It’s foolish to try to act like it’s the same as any other caregiver-teacher relationship, and the years when I’ve tried to act like it is are the years when I’ve had the most disastrous outcomes.

But, there can be so many nice moments. For example, I got to walk my kid to his classroom on his first day of in-person school ever this year, which with the pandemic protocols, very few caregivers got to do. I will never take that for granted. I was able to have a great partnership with my kid’s teachers, because we spoke the same “language” of education, and I could give insights on how my kid learns outside the classroom more effectively.

I was able to build deeper relationships with students whose families I knew, because I could honor and respect their cultural touchpoints more readily. And ultimately, I have become a better teacher and parent for living both sides of the coin.

Key takeaways:

• Have honest conversations about boundaries; follow the caregiver’s lead
• Respect the student’s privacy
• Share positives readily; be thoughtful in sharing areas of growth
• Respect boundaries, and be prepared to renegotiate as you go

The post When your co-worker’s child is assigned to your classroom: How to navigate teaching staff members’ kids appeared first on Truth For Teachers.